Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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