Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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