it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
