if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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