she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
