Michael Bay diarrhea
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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