When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
im holly from the hills drunk
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
