Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
