Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
