Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
