I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
