I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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