I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
