I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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