I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize