I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
