You're so nebulous sometimes
You smell like a Billy Joel song
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
