Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
