I want to make a zoo with you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
