just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
