Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
