So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Duck Duck Cougar?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
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Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize