I must be too annoying 4 u.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
