jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
