He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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