I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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