Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
