told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
