dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
