AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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