OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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