I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
