I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
