it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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