I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
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Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
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The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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