all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
