Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
