that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
