Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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