you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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