When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize