I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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