Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
