john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
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it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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