I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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