I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize