i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
