I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
