i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
