I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
