I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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