The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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