i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
