Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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