Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
