Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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