i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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