can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
