You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
