I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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