Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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