i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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