I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
