thus making me awesome and them whores
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize