Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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