I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
