Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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