I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
